Language is Power
As a society, we are often conditioned to reject failure. We identify with failure as though it reflects who we are at our core. “Failing means that I am a failure and will never succeed in this task” is a mentality that we can all identify with to some degree. “Getting an F on a math test means that I am bad at math and will never understand it.” We attach ourselves to failure in a way that places a mental blockade between us and success, whether we are aware of it or not. This attachment to failure stems from the language that we use, both in self talk and externally, when failure is experienced. Failure is difficult to experience because it places you in a vulnerable position, especially when others are watching. “I don’t know what I was doing when I messed up that dance step, but I definitely was not thinking!” It is natural to use self-deprecating language when vulnerable in front of others as a means of defense, however this language perpetuates a cycle of inability to achieve success due to an underlying lack of belief in self.
We want our students to feel comfortable with making mistakes because making mistakes and “failing” can unlock unlimited opportunity for creative growth.
What if we helped young learners to reframe the concept of failure so as to associate it as a positive experience? Something to strive toward? How can we begin this process of rephrasing our dialogue, both to ourselves and to others to encourage persistence and forward drive through vulnerability?
Here are some places to start:
Internal Dialogue
Instead of “I just messed up in front of all of these people. They must think I am terrible!”
Try “Wow I am so brave for putting myself out there. Not everyone has the courage to do this!”
2. Instead of “Why do I keep messing up at this part? I just can’t get it right!?”
Try “Mistakes happen, and now I will practice that part that I mess up a lot so that I get better!”
3. Instead of “I will never be as good as them”
Try “I am motivated to one day be as good as them!”
External Dialogue
Instead of “I can’t do this, it is too hard.”
Try “Can you clarify this for me? I think I need some more help.”
2. Instead of “Wow I really messed that up, did you see that?”
Try “Now I know what I can work on for next time.”
3. Instead of “I am the worst in my group.”
Try “There are so many people here who I can learn from.”
Learning an art form is not an easy undertaking. Oftentimes, it is difficult to find fun or enjoyment in your art form until you have reached a level of competency that allows things to flow naturally rather than applying focused brain power toward making things work. From the perspective of a child who may lack the foresight to see the eventual benefits of learning an instrument or dance form, the task of spending time everyday doing meticulous work may feel insurmountable. The language we use surrounding such tasks often sets the tone and can result in motivation toward accepting the process of learning (and failing as a part of the learning process) or resistance toward trying. When we reframe our mindset and let failure in, we learn to celebrate the small victories, the little steps. Our passion toward learning and growing is ignited, and inspiration takes residence. The mind is a powerful tool, and understanding how to use it lays the foundation for a fearless individual unafraid to move about the world ready to tackle challenges and grow as a result!
